There are moments that stay with you. Not because someone meant to hurt you, but because their words made you feel less than you are. I’ve experienced it more times than I can count. Being described as “brave” for doing everyday things. Hearing phrases like “suffers from” or “despite her disability” can feel heavy. They often limit how we see someone. They often seem inaccurate, too.

Language matters. More than we often realise.

Inclusive language isn’t about getting every word perfectly right. It’s about awareness. It’s about respect. And most importantly, it’s about listening.

Inclusive language recognises that words have power. They shape how we see things, reinforce attitudes, and affect how we treat others. When it comes to disability, that power can either challenge stigma, or quietly reinforce it.

It starts with seeing the person

One of the most common questions is whether to say “person with a disability” or “disabled person.” The honest answer? It depends.

Some people prefer person-first language because it emphasises the individual. Some people, including many in the disability community, prefer identity-first language. They see disability as part of their identity, not something separate.

The key is simple: don’t assume, ask.

Moving away from language rooted in pity

There’s a subtle but important shift happening. Words like “suffering,” “confined,” or “wheelchair-bound” don’t reflect most disabled people’s lives. They build a story of limitation and dependency.

In reality, a wheelchair is freedom. It’s independence. It’s access.

Inclusive language moves away from passive, victim-based language and instead reflects autonomy and agency.

You don’t need to overthink it

One of the biggest barriers to inclusive communication is fear, fear of getting it wrong.

So people avoid the conversation altogether.

But inclusion isn’t built through silence. It’s built through trying, learning, and improving. If you get something wrong, apologise, learn from it, and move forward. Most people don’t expect perfection, they value effort.

Lived experience should lead the conversation

Too often, language is shaped without the voices of the people it affects. That’s where things go wrong.

Disabled people are not a monolith. Preferences vary. Experiences differ. But one thing is consistent: lived experience matters.

If we want to get language right, we need to centre the people who live it every day.

Small changes, big impact

Inclusive language doesn’t require a complete overhaul. It’s often small, conscious changes:

• Saying “accessible parking” instead of “disabled parking”
• Avoiding assumptions about what someone can or can’t do
• Speaking directly to the person, not the person accompanying them
• Describing adjustments as enabling, not accommodating

These changes may feel small, but they shift culture.

Final thought

This isn’t just about words.

It’s about dignity. It’s about identity. It’s about creating spaces, like workplaces, schools, or communities, where disabled people feel seen, valued, and included.

Because inclusion doesn’t fail through lack of intention. It fails when everyday language goes unchallenged.

And that’s something all of us have the power to change.