International Day of Persons with Disabilities: Seeing the Person, Understanding the Impairment

A unique perspective from our founder Claire Buckle

Every year, the 3rd of December gives us a moment to reflect—not just on disability itself, but on how society and business truly see disabled people. And for me, this isn’t theoretical. It’s lived, every single day.

I’ve lost count of how many times people proudly tell me, “I don’t see your disability; I just see you.”
It’s meant with kindness. It’s meant to be inclusive. But it’s only half the story.

Because the truth is simple: my disability comes with me.
It’s part of who I am. Not all of me, but a part that shapes my day, my energy, my decisions, my access needs, and sometimes my limitations. You cannot separate “the person” from “the impairment.” You shouldn’t have to. And you certainly shouldn’t pretend it isn’t there.

The real mark of inclusion isn’t ignoring disability; it’s acknowledging it without discomfort.

Where businesses get it wrong (and how they can get it right)

In so many workplaces, the fear of asking the “wrong” question stops any real conversation from happening. Employers worry about offending. Colleagues tiptoe around anything related to disability. Managers assume silence is safer than curiosity.

But here’s the reality every disabled person knows: 

• We value genuine curiosity far more than polite avoidance.
• You don’t need the perfect language.
• You don’t need to have read every policy.
• You don’t need to be an expert.

What you do need is the willingness to ask, listen and learn.
Every meaningful adjustment I’ve ever received started with a simple conversation.

Something as small as:

• “What can I do to make things easier for you?”
• “Is there anything about the way you work that we should understand?”
• “How can we help you do your best?”

These questions aren’t intrusive. They’re empowering.

Disabled people aren’t fragile. We aren’t problems to manage. We aren’t there to fit into rigid structures that weren’t designed with us in mind. We’re human beings who want and deserve the same thing everyone else does: to be understood.

The hidden impact of avoidance

Avoidance doesn’t feel like discrimination on the surface. It often looks polite, quiet, or “giving someone space.” But to a disabled person, it feels like distance.

It feels like uncertainty. Sometimes, it feels like rejection.

When people avoid talking to us about our impairment, when they sidestep the conversation, keep things surface-level, or choose silence over understanding, the emotional impact runs deep.

It pushes us into our own heads, questioning things we should never have to question:

• Am I part of this team?
• Do I deserve my spot here?
• Am I in the right place to be respected?
• Are they uncomfortable around me?
• Have I done something wrong?

Avoidance creates doubt – Doubt chips away at confidence

And for many disabled people, that quiet erosion leads to feeling “othered,” unseen, or undervalued. Not because of the impairment itself, but because no one is willing to talk about it.

• This is why conversation matters.
• It’s why acknowledging disability matters.
• It’s why asking questions matters.

Because every time someone chooses to engage rather than avoid, it reinforces belonging. It says clearly:

“You’re part of this. You deserve to be here. We want to understand you.”

No question is the wrong question

I always tell employers and organisations this: There is no wrong question if it comes from a place of respect and genuine desire to understand.

• Ask me why something takes longer.
• Ask me how fatigue impacts my work.
• Ask why I stand, sit, move, pause, adapt.
• Ask me what I need.

Because here’s the secret most people don’t realise:

• Disabled people want you to ask.
• We want to be part of the solution.
• We want to help you understand.

If you’re willing to learn, we’re willing to share.

Every conversation chips away at stigma.

Every question builds confidence.

Every moment of honesty creates better workplaces.

A stronger society starts with two-way conversations

Awareness days like International Day of Persons with Disabilities matter. They shine a light. They start discussions. But real change comes from the everyday interactions: in offices, schools, gyms, meetings, shops, and social spaces, where disabled people are simply part of the world around them.

Inclusion is built in the quiet moments:

• a manager checking in sincerely,
• a colleague asking instead of assuming,
• a leader modelling confidence instead of fear.

If we want a society where disabled people belong, then we need a society where talking about disability is normal, comfortable, and human.

Final Thoughts

This International Day of Persons with Disabilities, my message is simple:
See the person.
Understand the impairment.
Hold both with equal respect.

Disability doesn’t define us—but it does shape us.

And when businesses, employers and communities embrace both sides of that truth, that’s when real inclusion begins.